Period from the start of 2015 until the May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat was a time of massive transition for me though i couldn’t pin point a finger at what it was. My thoughts and emotions were all over the place during this period. i constantly tried to repeat to myself ‘i am not the mind, i am not the body, i am not my emotions’, something i had learnt from the Vedic scriptures that i read from 2009 until 2011 but relief was low. It was almost like i just had to go through whatever this phase was. i missed reading Vedic spiritual texts that had given me so much insight about the working of the mind and a lot of perspective but i could just not focus on them.
In March 2015, Sree Maa Shri Ji started a what’s app group chat called ‘Sanatana Dharm’. i have taken the liberty to share this chat group below:
Sree Maa introduced Sanskrit concepts from Sanatana Dharm in simple English that i would have never followed on my own. i wasn’t even aware about the kind of muktas that were there and that even mukti could be of different levels. Had it not been for Sree Maa, i would have only pursued stithi pragnya and turiya avastha but Sree Maa became instrumental in introducing me to higher spiritual goals which i could choose to pursue__/\o_
But the current state of my antahkaran was only allowing me to look up to the May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat.
The spin on top of my head was erratic. Sometimes i felt it, sometimes i didn’t but it was definitely there. What followed next was a state of Turiya avastha for 3 weeks straight without having to do any kriya, yoga or meditation. Unbelievable! What followed over the next year was that the erratic graph of oscillating between sudden highs and lows became a straight neutral line. Everything that i perceived to be negative in my life be it people, situations, energies started to dissipate effortlessly. i stopped absorbing other people’s low energies and remained unaffected by negative environments which wasn’t the case earlier. This was a huge relief. Welcome neutrality! 😇
All i wanted to do was to meet the person whom i never met or spoke to, only interacted over one or two emails to inquire how to proceed with Kosmic Fusion and still could bring such a stark shift in my inner state of being sitting afar. Kaveeta Suniel (Sree Maa Shri Ji), founders and visionaries of Kosmic Fusion, were most forthcoming in giving me an appointment to meet them in Jan 2012. The day i met them was the day where the feeling of ‘something missing’ which i couldn’t pinpoint what it was, vanished for good. i experienced an exhilarating feeling of home coming and a feeling of completeness that has never dropped till date.
Atyant AbhAr Sree Maa
for listening to my yearning and choosing to walk in my life_/\_ Your Presence has brought the much needed relief and direction i was looking for_/\_🙇
My spiritual journey started in 2004 when i lost all focus and was introduced into Transcendental Meditation (TM) by my mother’s yoga teacher Yogi Vinay Rai. After a 4 year yoyo between meditating and enjoying the material world, i embarked upon a 3 year serious journey fully devoted to my spiritual enquiry. Disciplined life of yoga and pranayama, sudarshan kriya, sahaj samadhi meditation, silence, listening to devotional songs and reading scriptures like Ashtavakra Gita, Patanjali Yoga Sutras, Shiv Sutras and many more, centered around my erratic work schedule, all together gave me much needed respite in the turiya avastha. Yet there was an unshakable prominent feeling that something was really amiss.
Nov 2011, in a moment of silence when i found no answers and relief from the feeling, i uttered a prayer to my Guru, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar at the time that “there’s something missing and i don’t know what. i am surrendering to you as you know what’s best for me, please send into my life whoever or whatever it is that’s missing.”
One month later, Kosmic Fusion had come into my life. i bypassed it completely when i went through the website. Though the mission statement resonated a lot, my mind rejected as it couldn’t understand the rest of the content. That night when i slept, there was a constant knocking in my head, like someone was playing a tape of ‘this is what you are looking for, even if you don’t understand, go for it, you will find all your answers’.
Within the next week, i found myself enrolling for something i didn’t understand at all and listening to an hour long meditative tape every day for 7 days that i could not focus on. Had no clue what i was doing and felt nothing in the body or any change in the mind and emotions but lo and behold, on the 7th day, felt a spin come on top of my head. Like a child who is in wonder and utter disbelief, i sat still multiple times that day and many days to follow to feel if the spin was really there or not. IT WAS THERE! 😃