My response to the ridiculous and derogatory questions of the journalists was one long email which i have published in 4 parts in my blog for ease in reading.
Part 1
Jai Shree Swaminarayan_/\_
From being a seeker, seeking to find who am i, until the self surrendered and asked 'is there anyone out there who can tell me who i am?' Finding my Akshar Paratpar Mitra, Sree Maa Shri Ji who heard the yearning and led me from self to Self, showed me my ultimate goal of SELF. My journey from self to Self to SELF which got stalled due to a few covert and malignant narcissists who sat with me slyly like they were in Kosmic Fusion for the same spiritual goal as me…but alas!
My response to the ridiculous and derogatory questions of the journalists was one long email which i have published in 4 parts in my blog for ease in reading.
Part 1
Jai Shree Swaminarayan_/\_
i felt elated after the prolific May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat and i was finding it difficult hiding the joy i was feeling from within. Listening to devotional songs took me in a different zone of bliss altogether which had never happened before. Earlier, i listened to bhajans at loud volume to cut out mental noise and to allow the vibration of the chant bring energetic shifts. For the first time, i experienced how people would feel ecstatic by visiting temples in ancient Bharat and singing devotional songs. i could feel it sitting at home or in my hotel room 🙇💕.
i started researching the net for bhajans and sent them to Sree Maa if they were suitable to be circulated amongst the FiTs. Sree Maa selected a few to be circulated that were easy to sing, if not comprehend and left the tough Sanskrit ones out. i was enthralled at how much Sree Maa cared for everyone and truly was an exceptional mentor who had literally given birth to the akarmi in all of us and had been nurturing it like a mother🙏i felt immense gratitude and respect for Sree Maa and Shri Ji and based on all feedbacks everyone had given during and after the Retreat, even Dallia to some extent, i assumed everyone felt the same and experienced similar shifts if not paramount ones that i did. This assumption and blindly believing everyone for what they said costed me and my most dear Sree Maa and Shri Ji dearly in 2016/2017.
Embodying the non-doer fully was really beautiful to which the Kosmic Bhagwad Gita was sheer indulgence. The discourses on Shrimad Bhagwad Geeta didn’t make as much sense as they did after the retreat. The shift was so phenomenal that it marked the cessation of hypnotherapy clients for me. i couldn’t bear to listen to the mental and emotional woes of clients that i knew were just the density of the Sukshm sharir (subtle bodies) and the True Soul/Atma is so pure, totally devoid of the slush of the Antahkaran. i felt i would be a cheat if i continued with the sessions and did not introduce people to the treasure i had found, QVSWPP, the gift of Grace by beloved Sree Maa and Shri Ji_/\_
After a while, 4 antahkarans namely mann (mind), buddhi (intellect), chitt (emotive mind), ahankar (ego) started acting up again. It was shocking to realize that despite the magnanimous gifts and blessings from Sree Maa to embody the akarmi, anatahkaran still worked like a hard core programme that needed constant monitoring and cleansing to avoid dust and slush settling as thoughts and emotions. What was a relief and quite astounding though was that with just a little effort of tuning-in with QVSWPP, akarmi took the reigns back in no time and told it off that “sorry, you are not in control anymore.” i was very aware of the Self witnessing the antahkaran and not get embroiled in its drama.
Immediately post the May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat, Kosmic Bhagwad Gita sessions commenced. All FiTs formed an internal what’s app group chat for this purpose and posted our questions there which were collated by me. Reader’s kindly go through the range of questions that FiTs came up with:
All FiTs looked forward to the Q and A with Sree Maa and i shared the audio recordings of these sessions with all FiTs. Dallia has sat with me in Sree Maa Shri Ji’s Te Atatu house during some of these Kosmic Bhagwad Gita sessions and Jeeya for some sessions. Sree Maa always had at least 2 FiTs and never encouraged one-on-one sessions to completely not give any kind of fodder to the ego to feel special. Such is the kind of care extended by our beloved Guru who knows how the doer can subtly creep back in and has taken full responsibility of nurturing the Akarmi deh 🙏
Nandini had already been listening to Bhagwad Gita discourses by BK Usha and Sree Maa asked her to share the links with everyone. Since the characters were unknown to most FiTs, Sree Maa was most gracious to research and recommend links of You Tube videos on synopsis of characters of Mahabharata with English subtitles that would be easy to follow by FiTs hailing from different countries and cultures. We all did our own research from the comforts of our own homes🙏😇
Shrimad Bhagavad Gita- Drama (7 hours)
Part 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50UvBKzWpD4
Part 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1oXR-QpIr0
Part 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6o8hjb__srY
BK Usha’s explanation on the secrets of Bhagavad Gita (in English) – (9 Hours)
Part 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A57RWl7L1ak
Part 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kfk7s1sQjI
Part 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNmH0JrNm1I
Part 4: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1a2rFF6ZS6I
Part 5: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ou_VfaU-RTE
Part 6: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqxSWkUdTrk
Sree Maa Shri Ji had mentioned in 2012, also in one of the FiT calls in 2014 and again revealed over one of the dinners in the May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat about the final goal of having a place/space where the non-frequency, formless form that can’t be seen but only felt energetically was to be installed and anchored. People only had to walk into the space to have self-realization about their dark/shadow/small selves and the 3D/4D dense obsolete grids would fall off without having to go through peeling the onion layer by layer.
What a fantastic ultimate goal that made sense after the Akarmi deh and Samdarshi initiations and that with Sree Maa Shri Ji, something so spectacular and unbelievable to the mind was absolutely possible!🙏 A few of us floated the idea of an Ashram trial Project for this purpose and to take it as a testing ground if we were capable of running an Ashram in the future.
Around this time, Jeeya took on the role of Sree Maa’s PA.
My inner knowingness of something major emerging in the May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat turned out to be absolutely true with the birthing of Niranjana, the akarmi deh and layers of my old self dying and really stepping back. Thank goodness, i listened to my inner calling and allowed the process to unfold instead of running to a doctor to take anti-depression pill for quick relief and slow/halt the process. The entire 10 days of the May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat had been phenomenal with non-stop Grace consistently showered by Sree Maa Shri Ji 🙏 Utter bliss and lightness replaced the low feelings that i had experienced earlier💞
Sada Apki AbhAri rahoongi Sree Maa Shri Ji__/\o___/\o___/\o_
It was the May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat that was a game changer. This is also where all FiTs met everyone in a physical location. i first met Sarah Sunshine (Sarala), Jabeen McMohan (Jwala), Cherry Weir (Nirali), Mima (Mahima), Tiffanie Lim/Tara (http://souljournaling1.blogspot.com) and Manjit Surry/Mala (http://truthspinner1.blogspot.com).
The first 4 days of the Retreat was Practitioner’s training which was attended by over 20 5D++ Pulsars inclusive of FiTs. i must have attended 3 or 4 practitioner trainings with Sree Maa Shri Ji since 2012 and i must say that each time i learnt something new as the course content was different. All trainings were experiential and the only thing that remained constant was to ‘STEP-BACK’ to allow the QVSWPP to step in, be the NON-DOER. There were multitude of discourses given in all trainings by Sree Maa covering a range of subjects and so many initiations and blessings were graced on everyone of which i don’t have a count. i only feel Gratitude for SreeMaaShriJi__/\o_
One of the experiences that SreeMaaShriJi Graced everyone was ‘Visiting the Abode of the Absolute’. This was a very profound experience, almost next to Samadhi. i could only feel my heartbeat and had zero awareness of anything else. Don’t remember where i went but recall prostrating to Sree Maa and Shri Ji. Had lost all track of time. Suddenly heard Sree Maa’s voice in the room to offer gratitude before leaving and come back in the body, i felt my entire heart area open up, like someone had opened a door and lifted weight off. i have never felt so light and fresh as i did that day when i visited the Abode of the Absolute, like i am not the body and mind but just Atma_/\_
Om Sai Brahman, the greeting that all FiTs were using with one another was introduced to the Practitioners as well and the meaning explained. Value of prostration that was explained in the Sanatana Dharma what’s app chat group in Mar 2015 was explained in detail with the movement of energetic currents in the body to everyone attending this Practitioner workshop. This hadn’t been explained in the previous Practitioner workshops. There were a few who had their reservations about it and there was absolutely no force or compulsion on them. i loved doing it in Sree Maa Shri Ji’s lotus-feet. i always felt a soothing wave when i did my shashtang dandavats to Sree Maa and a very strong wave when i did it in Shri Ji’s lotus feet. It was evident that whatever Absolute Truth Sree Maa revealed, it wasn’t always limited to just FiTs, it was incorporated in other workshops too and really, that’s how the course content was very dynamic. Repeating workshops with Sree Maa wasn’t boring or repetitive but highly dynamic as the initiations and Absolute Truth shared were different in each one. Sree Maa is an extremely spirited and versatile mentor_/\_
On the last day of the Practitioner workshop, Sree Maa Shri Ji offered the organ cleanse for which all FiTs had been recommended to take the homeopathic detox medicine. Grace of removal of entities from the organs was offered to even the Practitioners who were not going to stay back for FiT training by beloved Sree Maa Shri Ji. The experience was very intense where i felt intense rage surface and release. i had tears rolling down like a tap had been opened. i still recall that i never felt anything in the body and never felt any love but felt huge Gratitude for Sree Maa Shri Ji_/\_ Sree Maa Shri Ji ended the workshop with everyone listening and singing ‘Achyutam Keshavam’ and Sree Maa explaining the meaning of the beautiful bhajan_/\_
Main Apki atyant AbhAri hoon aur sadA rahoongi Sree Maa Shri Ji for the immense Grace showered, especially the organ cleanse, where the brunt of transmuting the slush was taken by Sree Maa Shri Ji on their own bodies. Sree Maa Shri Ji were very unwell after the Retreat but not once complained or mentioned about it to anyone_/\_ It was Archita who had stayed back after the Retreat for some time noticed and wrote an email to all FiTs about the same_/\_
Period from the start of 2015 until the May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat was a time of massive transition for me though i couldn’t pin point a finger at what it was. My thoughts and emotions were all over the place during this period. i constantly tried to repeat to myself ‘i am not the mind, i am not the body, i am not my emotions’, something i had learnt from the Vedic scriptures that i read from 2009 until 2011 but relief was low. It was almost like i just had to go through whatever this phase was. i missed reading Vedic spiritual texts that had given me so much insight about the working of the mind and a lot of perspective but i could just not focus on them.
In March 2015, Sree Maa Shri Ji started a what’s app group chat called ‘Sanatana Dharm’. i have taken the liberty to share this chat group below:
Sree Maa introduced Sanskrit concepts from Sanatana Dharm in simple English that i would have never followed on my own. i wasn’t even aware about the kind of muktas that were there and that even mukti could be of different levels. Had it not been for Sree Maa, i would have only pursued stithi pragnya and turiya avastha but Sree Maa became instrumental in introducing me to higher spiritual goals which i could choose to pursue__/\o_
But the current state of my antahkaran was only allowing me to look up to the May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat.