Beware of Trash in spiritual circles

Studying the Family and Systems Constellations Training module and practice sessions activated the chitt and mann again. It was a good testing ground for neutrality. Despite the very short experience of Sampoorna Samarpan (Total Surrender) and the most benevolent QVSWPP by my side 24 by 7, the antahkaran started playing up every now and then again. i decided to tackle it once and for all when one of my colleagues who has been with Osho for over 2 decades messaged out of the blue about a family constellation workshop with someone called Darshan. Sree Maa had told us many times from the onset that the small self and the psychological make up is our own responsibility and that Sree Maa takes full responsibility only for the Akarmi (non-doer) and Atma. Plus i was studying Systemic Constellations myself, i decided to go for it.

It was the worst decision and remains one of the most rubbish and sickening experiences of my life till date. The first constellation went well. When i went for the second constellation, the facilitator gave stupid advises that i never asked for as i really had gone for a constellation and not some cognitive therapy or a C grade advisory session. What was most surprising was that she herself had said at the start of the day that “you are fed up of receiving advises” and then stupidly goes ahead and gives it herself at the end of the day😖. Instead of a constellation to resolve the energetic block for the feeling of being stuck with money and career, the facilitator gave ridiculous advises that i should study Ayurveda or become a high class slut. Absolutely shocking!

She never did a constellation and just kept barking nonsense without giving me a chance to speak. She went to the extent of asking the participants to say to me “tell her, she is cold and miserable” and like poodles without brains, they said it also of which 2 had never met me before. Only one person who also i met for the first time in that group disagreed with her and voiced it. Till date i thank her for the discernment she kept and not falling low like others as otherwise, i would have definitely hit depression thinking that something is really wrong with me if 5 people in a spiritual healing group were to say so. After a while, she told me to just get off the chair and go with a closing statement that there is a limit to giving. Really!!! i just wondered what was she giving.

i have never come back feeling so abused and harassed as i did from that workshop not only at the hands of the facilitator but the participants too and i take fully responsibility for putting myself through it. Since manan and chintan has always been a part of my life, i really gave thought to what had transpired. Was i really cold and miserable? May be there was a part in me that i was unaware of? i felt zero resonance to it.

i called up my colleague and told her that Darshan had really misbehaved and that she had no business giving such ridiculous advises, she said that she will tell Darshan to speak properly and then goes ahead to tell me of an incident about some friend of hers that was a high class escort and how she ended up getting married to one of her clients!!! i could not believe what i had just heard!!!

For the first time i realized that a lot of people are on the spiritual path but it doesn’t necessarily mean they are evolved or enlightened or keep conscience. i got a full dose of spiritual glamour without any essence and massive healer’s ego.

i really contemplated what was my learning curve out of the unpleasant experience. At the end of the day, this experience had manifested and i don’t deny i sat and cried for what i had put myself through at the hands of a healer. The only answer i could find was ‘DISCERNMENT’.

Anyway, the reason i mention this incident is that within a month, like a mother who knows the weakness and vulnerability of her child and what it is going through even when it doesn’t voice it’s feelings, Sree Maa yet again gave a colossal gift, the gift of sharanagati_/\__/\__/\_

Akarmi v/s Antahkaran

i felt elated after the prolific May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat and i was finding it difficult hiding the joy i was feeling from within. Listening to devotional songs took me in a different zone of bliss altogether which had never happened before. Earlier, i listened to bhajans at loud volume to cut out mental noise and to allow the vibration of the chant bring energetic shifts. For the first time, i experienced how people would feel ecstatic by visiting temples in ancient Bharat and singing devotional songs. i could feel it sitting at home or in my hotel room 🙇💕.

i started researching the net for bhajans and sent them to Sree Maa if they were suitable to be circulated amongst the FiTs. Sree Maa selected a few to be circulated that were easy to sing, if not comprehend and left the tough Sanskrit ones out. i was enthralled at how much Sree Maa cared for everyone and truly was an exceptional mentor who had literally given birth to the akarmi in all of us and had been nurturing it like a mother🙏i felt immense gratitude and respect for Sree Maa and Shri Ji and based on all feedbacks everyone had given during and after the Retreat, even Dallia to some extent, i assumed everyone felt the same and experienced similar shifts if not paramount ones that i did. This assumption and blindly believing everyone for what they said costed me and my most dear Sree Maa and Shri Ji dearly in 2016/2017.

Embodying the non-doer fully was really beautiful to which the Kosmic Bhagwad Gita was sheer indulgence. The discourses on Shrimad Bhagwad Geeta didn’t make as much sense as they did after the retreat. The shift was so phenomenal that it marked the cessation of hypnotherapy clients for me. i couldn’t bear to listen to the mental and emotional woes of clients that i knew were just the density of the Sukshm sharir (subtle bodies) and the True Soul/Atma is so pure, totally devoid of the slush of the Antahkaran. i felt i would be a cheat if i continued with the sessions and did not introduce people to the treasure i had found, QVSWPP, the gift of Grace by beloved Sree Maa and Shri Ji_/\_

After a while, 4 antahkarans namely mann (mind), buddhi (intellect), chitt (emotive mind), ahankar (ego) started acting up again. It was shocking to realize that despite the magnanimous gifts and blessings from Sree Maa to embody the akarmi, anatahkaran still worked like a hard core programme that needed constant monitoring and cleansing to avoid dust and slush settling as thoughts and emotions. What was a relief and quite astounding though was that with just a little effort of tuning-in with QVSWPP, akarmi took the reigns back in no time and told it off that “sorry, you are not in control anymore.” i was very aware of the Self witnessing the antahkaran and not get embroiled in its drama.

 

May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat Part 1 – Practitioner’s Training

It was the May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat that was a game changer. This is also where all FiTs met everyone in a physical location. i first met Sarah Sunshine (Sarala), Jabeen McMohan (Jwala),  Cherry Weir (Nirali), Mima (Mahima), Tiffanie Lim/Tara (http://souljournaling1.blogspot.com) and Manjit Surry/Mala (http://truthspinner1.blogspot.com).

The first 4 days of the Retreat was Practitioner’s training which was attended by over 20 5D++ Pulsars inclusive of FiTs. i must have attended 3 or 4 practitioner trainings with Sree Maa Shri Ji since 2012 and i must say that each time i learnt something new as the course content was different. All trainings were experiential and the only thing that remained constant was to ‘STEP-BACK’ to allow the QVSWPP to step in, be the NON-DOER. There were multitude of discourses given in all trainings by Sree Maa covering a range of subjects and so many initiations and blessings were graced on everyone of which i don’t have a count. i only feel Gratitude for SreeMaaShriJi__/\o_

One of the experiences that SreeMaaShriJi Graced everyone was ‘Visiting the Abode of the Absolute’. This was a very profound experience, almost next to Samadhi. i could only feel my heartbeat and had zero awareness of anything else. Don’t remember where i went but recall prostrating to Sree Maa and Shri Ji. Had lost all track of time. Suddenly heard Sree Maa’s voice in the room to offer gratitude before leaving and come back in the body, i felt my entire heart area open up, like someone had opened a door and lifted weight off. i have never felt so light and fresh as i did that day when i visited the Abode of the Absolute, like i am not the body and mind but just Atma_/\_

Om Sai Brahman, the greeting that all FiTs were using with one another was introduced to the Practitioners as well and the meaning explained. Value of prostration that was explained in the Sanatana Dharma what’s app chat group in Mar 2015 was explained in detail with the movement of energetic currents in the body to everyone attending this Practitioner workshop. This hadn’t been explained in the previous Practitioner workshops. There were a few who had their reservations about it and there was absolutely no force or compulsion on them. i loved doing it in Sree Maa Shri Ji’s lotus-feet. i always felt a soothing wave when i did my shashtang dandavats to Sree Maa and a very strong wave when i did it in Shri Ji’s lotus feet.  It was evident that whatever Absolute Truth Sree Maa revealed, it wasn’t always limited to just FiTs, it was incorporated in other workshops too and really, that’s how the course content was very dynamic. Repeating workshops with Sree Maa wasn’t boring or repetitive but highly dynamic as the initiations and Absolute Truth shared were different in each one. Sree Maa is an extremely spirited and versatile mentor_/\_

On the last day of the Practitioner workshop, Sree Maa Shri Ji offered the organ cleanse for which all FiTs had been recommended to take the homeopathic detox medicine. Grace of removal of entities from the organs was offered to even the Practitioners who were not going to stay back for FiT training by beloved Sree Maa Shri Ji. The experience was very intense where i felt intense rage surface and release. i had tears rolling down like a tap had been opened. i still recall that i never felt anything in the body and never felt any love but felt huge Gratitude for Sree Maa Shri Ji_/\_ Sree Maa Shri Ji ended the workshop with everyone listening and singing ‘Achyutam Keshavam’ and Sree Maa explaining the meaning of the beautiful bhajan_/\_

Main Apki atyant AbhAri hoon aur sadA rahoongi Sree Maa Shri Ji for the immense Grace showered, especially the organ cleanse, where the brunt of transmuting the slush was taken by Sree Maa Shri Ji on their own bodies. Sree Maa Shri Ji were very unwell after the Retreat but not once complained or mentioned about it to anyone_/\_ It was Archita who had stayed back after the Retreat for some time noticed and wrote an email to all FiTs about the same_/\_

Advent of Volunteering for Kosmic Fusion

i was very inspired by the Practitioner’s workshop. It had given me a lot of insight into the nuances of Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse (QVSWPP). Sree Maa Shri Ji had asked us to do 20 healing sessions as case studies and doing those made me realize that QVSWPP worked at such a different level that was incomprehensible to the mind. Logic took a back seat and wonder was right at front. The knowingness that had come earlier on my spiritual journey started cementing that there is a greater force in this world in front of which i am as small as grain of sand. That greater force was live in my field as the QVSWPP, that which is All-Knowing and works at the level of my atma, not the desires and expectations of the doer!

Every time i shared a Multi-dimensional holographic healing session with QVSWPP, i felt my own healing occur simultaneously. i did experience a few ups and downs again when my own emotional garbage came up to the surface layer but the time taken to release it and bounce back to neutrality reduced significantly. Even though i never felt the QVSWPP when i shared, the feedback recipients gave was my validation that i was stepping-back and sharing correctly and that nulled the doubts my mind created. This was path breaking where in my non-doing, healing occurred not only for the recipient but for me too without any fodder for the healer’s ego to crop up😃 Truly a remarkable practice ground for keeping the doer in check and a perfect antidote for healer’s ego! 

Within no time i had gained a lot of experience and the faith and trust grew naturally with each passing day and every session i shared. i was so impressed and wonderstruck with what Sree Maa Shri Ji had given that i unabashedly asked them again if i could be a part of the mission in any way knowing fully well that i knew nothing but Sree Maa Shri Ji were most welcoming. Thereafter, started my stint with volunteering for Kosmic Fusion.