Beware of Trash in spiritual circles

Studying the Family and Systems Constellations Training module and practice sessions activated the chitt and mann again. It was a good testing ground for neutrality. Despite the very short experience of Sampoorna Samarpan (Total Surrender) and the most benevolent QVSWPP by my side 24 by 7, the antahkaran started playing up every now and then again. i decided to tackle it once and for all when one of my colleagues who has been with Osho for over 2 decades messaged out of the blue about a family constellation workshop with someone called Darshan. Sree Maa had told us many times from the onset that the small self and the psychological make up is our own responsibility and that Sree Maa takes full responsibility only for the Akarmi (non-doer) and Atma. Plus i was studying Systemic Constellations myself, i decided to go for it.

It was the worst decision and remains one of the most rubbish and sickening experiences of my life till date. The first constellation went well. When i went for the second constellation, the facilitator gave stupid advises that i never asked for as i really had gone for a constellation and not some cognitive therapy or a C grade advisory session. What was most surprising was that she herself had said at the start of the day that “you are fed up of receiving advises” and then stupidly goes ahead and gives it herself at the end of the day😖. Instead of a constellation to resolve the energetic block for the feeling of being stuck with money and career, the facilitator gave ridiculous advises that i should study Ayurveda or become a high class slut. Absolutely shocking!

She never did a constellation and just kept barking nonsense without giving me a chance to speak. She went to the extent of asking the participants to say to me “tell her, she is cold and miserable” and like poodles without brains, they said it also of which 2 had never met me before. Only one person who also i met for the first time in that group disagreed with her and voiced it. Till date i thank her for the discernment she kept and not falling low like others as otherwise, i would have definitely hit depression thinking that something is really wrong with me if 5 people in a spiritual healing group were to say so. After a while, she told me to just get off the chair and go with a closing statement that there is a limit to giving. Really!!! i just wondered what was she giving.

i have never come back feeling so abused and harassed as i did from that workshop not only at the hands of the facilitator but the participants too and i take fully responsibility for putting myself through it. Since manan and chintan has always been a part of my life, i really gave thought to what had transpired. Was i really cold and miserable? May be there was a part in me that i was unaware of? i felt zero resonance to it.

i called up my colleague and told her that Darshan had really misbehaved and that she had no business giving such ridiculous advises, she said that she will tell Darshan to speak properly and then goes ahead to tell me of an incident about some friend of hers that was a high class escort and how she ended up getting married to one of her clients!!! i could not believe what i had just heard!!!

For the first time i realized that a lot of people are on the spiritual path but it doesn’t necessarily mean they are evolved or enlightened or keep conscience. i got a full dose of spiritual glamour without any essence and massive healer’s ego.

i really contemplated what was my learning curve out of the unpleasant experience. At the end of the day, this experience had manifested and i don’t deny i sat and cried for what i had put myself through at the hands of a healer. The only answer i could find was ‘DISCERNMENT’.

Anyway, the reason i mention this incident is that within a month, like a mother who knows the weakness and vulnerability of her child and what it is going through even when it doesn’t voice it’s feelings, Sree Maa yet again gave a colossal gift, the gift of sharanagati_/\__/\__/\_

Akarmi v/s Antahkaran

i felt elated after the prolific May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat and i was finding it difficult hiding the joy i was feeling from within. Listening to devotional songs took me in a different zone of bliss altogether which had never happened before. Earlier, i listened to bhajans at loud volume to cut out mental noise and to allow the vibration of the chant bring energetic shifts. For the first time, i experienced how people would feel ecstatic by visiting temples in ancient Bharat and singing devotional songs. i could feel it sitting at home or in my hotel room 🙇💕.

i started researching the net for bhajans and sent them to Sree Maa if they were suitable to be circulated amongst the FiTs. Sree Maa selected a few to be circulated that were easy to sing, if not comprehend and left the tough Sanskrit ones out. i was enthralled at how much Sree Maa cared for everyone and truly was an exceptional mentor who had literally given birth to the akarmi in all of us and had been nurturing it like a mother🙏i felt immense gratitude and respect for Sree Maa and Shri Ji and based on all feedbacks everyone had given during and after the Retreat, even Dallia to some extent, i assumed everyone felt the same and experienced similar shifts if not paramount ones that i did. This assumption and blindly believing everyone for what they said costed me and my most dear Sree Maa and Shri Ji dearly in 2016/2017.

Embodying the non-doer fully was really beautiful to which the Kosmic Bhagwad Gita was sheer indulgence. The discourses on Shrimad Bhagwad Geeta didn’t make as much sense as they did after the retreat. The shift was so phenomenal that it marked the cessation of hypnotherapy clients for me. i couldn’t bear to listen to the mental and emotional woes of clients that i knew were just the density of the Sukshm sharir (subtle bodies) and the True Soul/Atma is so pure, totally devoid of the slush of the Antahkaran. i felt i would be a cheat if i continued with the sessions and did not introduce people to the treasure i had found, QVSWPP, the gift of Grace by beloved Sree Maa and Shri Ji_/\_

After a while, 4 antahkarans namely mann (mind), buddhi (intellect), chitt (emotive mind), ahankar (ego) started acting up again. It was shocking to realize that despite the magnanimous gifts and blessings from Sree Maa to embody the akarmi, anatahkaran still worked like a hard core programme that needed constant monitoring and cleansing to avoid dust and slush settling as thoughts and emotions. What was a relief and quite astounding though was that with just a little effort of tuning-in with QVSWPP, akarmi took the reigns back in no time and told it off that “sorry, you are not in control anymore.” i was very aware of the Self witnessing the antahkaran and not get embroiled in its drama.

 

Santana Dharma

Period from the start of 2015 until the May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat was a time of massive transition for me though i couldn’t pin point a finger at what it was. My thoughts and emotions were all over the place during this period. i constantly tried to repeat to myself ‘i am not the mind, i am not the body, i am not my emotions’, something i had learnt from the Vedic scriptures that i read from 2009 until 2011 but relief was low. It was almost like i just had to go through whatever this phase was. i missed reading Vedic spiritual texts that had given me so much insight about the working of the mind and a lot of perspective but i could just not focus on them.

In March 2015, Sree Maa Shri Ji started a what’s app group chat called ‘Sanatana Dharm’. i have taken the liberty to share this chat group below:

Sree Maa introduced Sanskrit concepts from Sanatana Dharm in simple English that i would have never followed on my own. i wasn’t even aware about the kind of muktas that were there and that even mukti could be of different levels. Had it not been for Sree Maa, i would have only pursued stithi pragnya and turiya avastha but Sree Maa became instrumental in introducing me to higher spiritual goals which i could choose to pursue__/\o_
But the current state of my antahkaran was only allowing me to look up to the May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat.

Volunteering and realizations in FiT Trial

i realized in the very early stages of FiT trial that it wasn’t as much about organizing events for Kosmic Fusion and spreading the word but more a practical training ground for all FiTs to practice ‘stepping-back’ and witness how effortlessly QVSWPP manifested things beyond the mind’s capacity to understand. Most FiTs realized how the doer stepped in and reacted with others’ doers and required constant commitment, effort and awareness to remain in the non-doer zone. There were many online training calls held for all FiTs by Sree Maa. This is how all FiTs started interacting as all of us were based in different parts of the world. Sree Maa put every effort, time and energy to bring all volunteers together and operate in oneness despite diverse cultural and spiritual beliefs and practices. No one was discriminated against and the main focus was QVSWPP, non-doer and understanding IT’s nuances.

Training was quite unprecedented that was done on whats app group chats, online meetings and by watching video recordings of Sree Maa’s training and discourses previously given. I AM Series and Kosmic Absolute were some that i saw videos of. Sree Maa gave a brilliant discourse on ‘Energetic Synthesis for Empaths and Sensitives‘ and told me that the discourse applied to me. It gave me a great understanding of what i had experienced for a really long time and my love, faith and respect increased at how tuned in Sree Maa was with my soul and the inner questioning of my antahkaran.

TranScEnDeNcE 8-12 Workshop via webinar in April 2013 was where i understood well that non-doer was the basis for transcending the small self. Many initiations were done and blessings showered energetically by beloved Sree Maa Shri Ji like the Sree-Chakra Grid initiation in June 2013. i was also very fortunate to receive 2 soul mapping sessions from Sree Maa. The first one in Sep 2013 was interactive where Sree Maa gave insights into the soul’s reason for birth, purpose in this lifetime, personality ray, monadic ray etc. Some of it corroborated with what i had already realized under self-hypnosis and practice hypnotherapy sessions that i was pursuing alongside, some, life experiences had already taught me and some guidance was absolutely new and revealing. Sree Maa was truly an exceptional soul. 
The second soul mapping in 2014 was a silent one as i really had no questions and in full trust i allowed the session to unfold energetically.

Sada Apki AbhAri rahoongi beloved Sree Maa Shri Ji for never breaking my trust and for guiding me selflessly towards my True Soul💕🙏🙇