May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat Part 2 – Transcendence

The next two days, some participants left and a few more came to attend the Transcendence part of the Retreat.

The entire 2 days was filled with, what can you expect? More dynamic discourses, exercises, initiations and blessings. Sree Maa’s discourses always hovered around Absolute Truth that really rattled the beliefs mind had created and yet Sree Maa maintained lightness with a bright sense of humor. Sree Maa always encouraged us to keep an open mind and do mañan and chintan to arrive at  our own conclusions.

For the first time, i experienced doing Pradakshinas around Sree Maa Shri Ji’s photo with everyone as an exercise. It was an eye-opening experience. i was the first one to start the pradakshinas as no-one was taking the first step. As i started, everyone started to join when they were ready. i wanted to run around the photo but was forced to slow down at everyone’s speed. Can’t deny i felt annoyed that no-one wanted to start and once i started, everyone followed and were coming in my way and slowing me down 😇 Kindly excuse my selfish thoughts but i am speaking honestly🙏
i even wanted to get out of the circle and just run but couldn’t as there was no space and i was literally pushed into being in synchronicity with everyone and not do what i wanted. It was this practical exercise that truly showed me that we all had to move in synchronicity, in One rhythm as the non-doer, for the mission and vision of Sree Maa Shri Ji, Kosmic Fusion to reach its epitome. What a beautiful experience where without any lecture i came to this self-realization where the only central focus was Sree Maa Shri Ji and their vision and mission for which all FiTs had asked to volunteer and must move in Oneness towards that One goal_/\_
i had disrupted the personal communal session of fusing in Dec 2014 where we went the mental way of verbalizing each one’s individual script and then tuning in with QVSWPP to neutralize it together in oneness but Pradakshina exercise done in complete silence was absolutely beautiful_/\_ Sree Maa Shri Ji, what a brilliant way to fuse everyone together and to remind everyone of that One goal for which we had been graciously accepted to volunteer__/\o_

Sree Maa Shri Ji gave a massive blessing of activating the Anandmaya Kosha (bliss body). It is one of the subtle layers that gets activated for yogis, seers after millions of years of spiritual practice. Sree Maa Shri Ji gifted it to us just like that. i loved doing the shashtang dandavats in Sree Maa Shri Ji’s lotus feet again during these two days and really wondered why i had deprived myself of it in all these years that i had known Sree Maa Shri Ji when i hail from Bharat and touching feet of elders and gurus is a common norm.

May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat Part 2 – Transcendence

There were many discourses given as always and Sree Maa Shri Ji encouraged everyone to bring their questions to transcend out of the layers of avidya (lack of knowledge) and agnyan (ignorance).

Sree Maa Shri Ji explained to us about the Guru Mantra and then gave us time to think if we wanted to be initiated into it. As dakshina, each one of us gave a bad habit that we wanted to get rid off. Guru Mantra was the door way to be initiated into being a Sanatana Dharmi, the one who lives righteously like an akarmi (non-doer). All this was explained very clearly.

i already had 3 mantras that i was using to meditate on, two had been given when i was initiated into TM and the third one for Sahaj Samadhi meditation and all 3 had been substantial in my spiritual growth. i didn’t know what to do with them and voiced it to Sree Maa Shri Ji. It took 1 minute for Sree Maa to clear away the antar dwand (inner conflict) i was experiencing based on one of the discourses Sree Maa had given previously and it made sense that all mantras initiated from AUM. i chose to receive the initiation.

During the initiation, the conflict that i had experienced earlier came and stood right in front of me. My own conscience shouted at me for being selfish and betraying my first Guru Sri Sri Ravi Shankar who had helped me unconditionally in my time of need. He never forced his teachings and courses on me, i had gone and done them, benefitted from them and chose him as my Guru, taken respite at his Ashram and now suddenly as i found something more advanced and better, i was disowning him. i felt really bad that i was letting him go after selfishly using him, his teachings and his techniques until i wanted to. The tap of tears opened again and i just couldn’t move forward to receive the soundless sound mantra. In that moment, i called out to him and he showed up. The closure that he gave me has been instrumental in keeping my faith in the Guru principle and to move forward in truly accepting Sree Maa Shri Ji as my Guru. i still find it very overwhelming to express this part and am taking the liberty to share the audio recording where i shared my experience. Humbly requesting all listeners to listen to it from the recesses of your soul and not the judgement of the ego as i was reeling under very intense emotions and a phase of shift and transformation when i did the sharing_/\_ Gratitude in advance for your understanding and empathy_/\_