i felt elated after the prolific May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat and i was finding it difficult hiding the joy i was feeling from within. Listening to devotional songs took me in a different zone of bliss altogether which had never happened before. Earlier, i listened to bhajans at loud volume to cut out mental noise and to allow the vibration of the chant bring energetic shifts. For the first time, i experienced how people would feel ecstatic by visiting temples in ancient Bharat and singing devotional songs. i could feel it sitting at home or in my hotel room 🙇💕.
i started researching the net for bhajans and sent them to Sree Maa if they were suitable to be circulated amongst the FiTs. Sree Maa selected a few to be circulated that were easy to sing, if not comprehend and left the tough Sanskrit ones out. i was enthralled at how much Sree Maa cared for everyone and truly was an exceptional mentor who had literally given birth to the akarmi in all of us and had been nurturing it like a mother🙏i felt immense gratitude and respect for Sree Maa and Shri Ji and based on all feedbacks everyone had given during and after the Retreat, even Dallia to some extent, i assumed everyone felt the same and experienced similar shifts if not paramount ones that i did. This assumption and blindly believing everyone for what they said costed me and my most dear Sree Maa and Shri Ji dearly in 2016/2017.
Embodying the non-doer fully was really beautiful to which the Kosmic Bhagwad Gita was sheer indulgence. The discourses on Shrimad Bhagwad Geeta didn’t make as much sense as they did after the retreat. The shift was so phenomenal that it marked the cessation of hypnotherapy clients for me. i couldn’t bear to listen to the mental and emotional woes of clients that i knew were just the density of the Sukshm sharir (subtle bodies) and the True Soul/Atma is so pure, totally devoid of the slush of the Antahkaran. i felt i would be a cheat if i continued with the sessions and did not introduce people to the treasure i had found, QVSWPP, the gift of Grace by beloved Sree Maa and Shri Ji_/\_
After a while, 4 antahkarans namely mann (mind), buddhi (intellect), chitt (emotive mind), ahankar (ego) started acting up again. It was shocking to realize that despite the magnanimous gifts and blessings from Sree Maa to embody the akarmi, anatahkaran still worked like a hard core programme that needed constant monitoring and cleansing to avoid dust and slush settling as thoughts and emotions. What was a relief and quite astounding though was that with just a little effort of tuning-in with QVSWPP, akarmi took the reigns back in no time and told it off that “sorry, you are not in control anymore.” i was very aware of the Self witnessing the antahkaran and not get embroiled in its drama.