The next two days, some participants left and a few more came to attend the Transcendence part of the Retreat.
The entire 2 days was filled with, what can you expect? More dynamic discourses, exercises, initiations and blessings. Sree Maa’s discourses always hovered around Absolute Truth that really rattled the beliefs mind had created and yet Sree Maa maintained lightness with a bright sense of humor. Sree Maa always encouraged us to keep an open mind and do mañan and chintan to arrive at our own conclusions.
For the first time, i experienced doing Pradakshinas around Sree Maa Shri Ji’s photo with everyone as an exercise. It was an eye-opening experience. i was the first one to start the pradakshinas as no-one was taking the first step. As i started, everyone started to join when they were ready. i wanted to run around the photo but was forced to slow down at everyone’s speed. Can’t deny i felt annoyed that no-one wanted to start and once i started, everyone followed and were coming in my way and slowing me down 😇 Kindly excuse my selfish thoughts but i am speaking honestly🙏
i even wanted to get out of the circle and just run but couldn’t as there was no space and i was literally pushed into being in synchronicity with everyone and not do what i wanted. It was this practical exercise that truly showed me that we all had to move in synchronicity, in One rhythm as the non-doer, for the mission and vision of Sree Maa Shri Ji, Kosmic Fusion to reach its epitome. What a beautiful experience where without any lecture i came to this self-realization where the only central focus was Sree Maa Shri Ji and their vision and mission for which all FiTs had asked to volunteer and must move in Oneness towards that One goal_/\_
i had disrupted the personal communal session of fusing in Dec 2014 where we went the mental way of verbalizing each one’s individual script and then tuning in with QVSWPP to neutralize it together in oneness but Pradakshina exercise done in complete silence was absolutely beautiful_/\_ Sree Maa Shri Ji, what a brilliant way to fuse everyone together and to remind everyone of that One goal for which we had been graciously accepted to volunteer__/\o_
Sree Maa Shri Ji gave a massive blessing of activating the Anandmaya Kosha (bliss body). It is one of the subtle layers that gets activated for yogis, seers after millions of years of spiritual practice. Sree Maa Shri Ji gifted it to us just like that. i loved doing the shashtang dandavats in Sree Maa Shri Ji’s lotus feet again during these two days and really wondered why i had deprived myself of it in all these years that i had known Sree Maa Shri Ji when i hail from Bharat and touching feet of elders and gurus is a common norm.
There were many discourses given as always and Sree Maa Shri Ji encouraged everyone to bring their questions to transcend out of the layers of avidya (lack of knowledge) and agnyan (ignorance).
Sree Maa Shri Ji explained to us about the Guru Mantra and then gave us time to think if we wanted to be initiated into it. As dakshina, each one of us gave a bad habit that we wanted to get rid off. Guru Mantra was the door way to be initiated into being a Sanatana Dharmi, the one who lives righteously like an akarmi (non-doer). All this was explained very clearly.
i already had 3 mantras that i was using to meditate on, two had been given when i was initiated into TM and the third one for Sahaj Samadhi meditation and all 3 had been substantial in my spiritual growth. i didn’t know what to do with them and voiced it to Sree Maa Shri Ji. It took 1 minute for Sree Maa to clear away the antar dwand (inner conflict) i was experiencing based on one of the discourses Sree Maa had given previously and it made sense that all mantras initiated from AUM. i chose to receive the initiation.
During the initiation, the conflict that i had experienced earlier came and stood right in front of me. My own conscience shouted at me for being selfish and betraying my first Guru Sri Sri Ravi Shankar who had helped me unconditionally in my time of need. He never forced his teachings and courses on me, i had gone and done them, benefitted from them and chose him as my Guru, taken respite at his Ashram and now suddenly as i found something more advanced and better, i was disowning him. i felt really bad that i was letting him go after selfishly using him, his teachings and his techniques until i wanted to. The tap of tears opened again and i just couldn’t move forward to receive the soundless sound mantra. In that moment, i called out to him and he showed up. The closure that he gave me has been instrumental in keeping my faith in the Guru principle and to move forward in truly accepting Sree Maa Shri Ji as my Guru. i still find it very overwhelming to express this part and am taking the liberty to share the audio recording where i shared my experience. Humbly requesting all listeners to listen to it from the recesses of your soul and not the judgement of the ego as i was reeling under very intense emotions and a phase of shift and transformation when i did the sharing_/\_ Gratitude in advance for your understanding and empathy_/\_
It was the May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat that was a game changer. This is also where all FiTs met everyone in a physical location. i first met Sarah Sunshine (Sarala), Jabeen McMohan (Jwala), Cherry Weir (Nirali), Mima (Mahima), Tiffanie Lim/Tara (http://souljournaling1.blogspot.com) and Manjit Surry/Mala (http://truthspinner1.blogspot.com).
The first 4 days of the Retreat was Practitioner’s training which was attended by over 20 5D++ Pulsars inclusive of FiTs. i must have attended 3 or 4 practitioner trainings with Sree Maa Shri Ji since 2012 and i must say that each time i learnt something new as the course content was different. All trainings were experiential and the only thing that remained constant was to ‘STEP-BACK’ to allow the QVSWPP to step in, be the NON-DOER. There were multitude of discourses given in all trainings by Sree Maa covering a range of subjects and so many initiations and blessings were graced on everyone of which i don’t have a count. i only feel Gratitude for SreeMaaShriJi__/\o_
One of the experiences that SreeMaaShriJi Graced everyone was ‘Visiting the Abode of the Absolute’. This was a very profound experience, almost next to Samadhi. i could only feel my heartbeat and had zero awareness of anything else. Don’t remember where i went but recall prostrating to Sree Maa and Shri Ji. Had lost all track of time. Suddenly heard Sree Maa’s voice in the room to offer gratitude before leaving and come back in the body, i felt my entire heart area open up, like someone had opened a door and lifted weight off. i have never felt so light and fresh as i did that day when i visited the Abode of the Absolute, like i am not the body and mind but just Atma_/\_
Om Sai Brahman, the greeting that all FiTs were using with one another was introduced to the Practitioners as well and the meaning explained. Value of prostration that was explained in the Sanatana Dharma what’s app chat group in Mar 2015 was explained in detail with the movement of energetic currents in the body to everyone attending this Practitioner workshop. This hadn’t been explained in the previous Practitioner workshops. There were a few who had their reservations about it and there was absolutely no force or compulsion on them. i loved doing it in Sree Maa Shri Ji’s lotus-feet. i always felt a soothing wave when i did my shashtang dandavats to Sree Maa and a very strong wave when i did it in Shri Ji’s lotus feet. It was evident that whatever Absolute Truth Sree Maa revealed, it wasn’t always limited to just FiTs, it was incorporated in other workshops too and really, that’s how the course content was very dynamic. Repeating workshops with Sree Maa wasn’t boring or repetitive but highly dynamic as the initiations and Absolute Truth shared were different in each one. Sree Maa is an extremely spirited and versatile mentor_/\_
On the last day of the Practitioner workshop, Sree Maa Shri Ji offered the organ cleanse for which all FiTs had been recommended to take the homeopathic detox medicine. Grace of removal of entities from the organs was offered to even the Practitioners who were not going to stay back for FiT training by beloved Sree Maa Shri Ji. The experience was very intense where i felt intense rage surface and release. i had tears rolling down like a tap had been opened. i still recall that i never felt anything in the body and never felt any love but felt huge Gratitude for Sree Maa Shri Ji_/\_ Sree Maa Shri Ji ended the workshop with everyone listening and singing ‘Achyutam Keshavam’ and Sree Maa explaining the meaning of the beautiful bhajan_/\_
Main Apki atyant AbhAri hoon aur sadA rahoongi Sree Maa Shri Ji for the immense Grace showered, especially the organ cleanse, where the brunt of transmuting the slush was taken by Sree Maa Shri Ji on their own bodies. Sree Maa Shri Ji were very unwell after the Retreat but not once complained or mentioned about it to anyone_/\_ It was Archita who had stayed back after the Retreat for some time noticed and wrote an email to all FiTs about the same_/\_
Period from the start of 2015 until the May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat was a time of massive transition for me though i couldn’t pin point a finger at what it was. My thoughts and emotions were all over the place during this period. i constantly tried to repeat to myself ‘i am not the mind, i am not the body, i am not my emotions’, something i had learnt from the Vedic scriptures that i read from 2009 until 2011 but relief was low. It was almost like i just had to go through whatever this phase was. i missed reading Vedic spiritual texts that had given me so much insight about the working of the mind and a lot of perspective but i could just not focus on them.
In March 2015, Sree Maa Shri Ji started a what’s app group chat called ‘Sanatana Dharm’. i have taken the liberty to share this chat group below:
Sree Maa introduced Sanskrit concepts from Sanatana Dharm in simple English that i would have never followed on my own. i wasn’t even aware about the kind of muktas that were there and that even mukti could be of different levels. Had it not been for Sree Maa, i would have only pursued stithi pragnya and turiya avastha but Sree Maa became instrumental in introducing me to higher spiritual goals which i could choose to pursue__/\o_
But the current state of my antahkaran was only allowing me to look up to the May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat.
Phase 2 was launched at the start of 2015 but before that FiT programme was suspended for 10 days in the last trimester of Dec 2014. This was time given to all FiTs to take time off and reflect on the following:
“Ask yourself whether you are someone that is genuinely ready for Transcendence? If yes, write a letter to Source-Void and Sree Maa Shri Ji saying you are ready for the Phase 2. Once you write this letter, remember, walking out or quitting afterwards will mean your unauthentic self, your ego was the one who thought it was ready for Transcendence. If no, then take further 21 days off from volunteering as well as consciously don’t emit-transmit or share the QVSWPP or connect to Sree Maa Shri Ji. The ones who write a letter will be taken into level 2 of FiT programme. The ones who choose the 21 day process will again sit down with themselves and ask if they are ready now for Transcendence. If you get a yes this time, write the letter. If you still get a no, then it’s best to leave the FiT programme. To further clarify if you choose to leave the FiT programme, you will still be part of Kosmic Tribe and a 5D++ Pulsar if you want to be associated with QVSWPP.”
This kind of reflection and self-introspection was always encouraged and practiced and was the foundation of the FiT programme. All FiTs always took their own decisions whether they wanted to continue or not and were their own gauge where they stood and how far they wanted to go. What i loved was that Sree Maa Shri Ji always maintained transparency and clarity of what we were getting into and the choice was always in our hands. Transparency, authenticity, integrity and honesty as the core principles of the FiT programme were always practiced by Sree Maa Shri Ji.
Sree Maa had told us in December 2014 itself that all FiTs were ready for physical Phase 0 immersion where the initiations would work directly on the physical body. Sree Maa recommended that we all take Heel’s Detox Homeopathy medicine to detox. i took my decision and took only half the dose 😝
i hit my lowest ever as soon as phase 2 was launched. i felt like something inside me was dying and i couldn’t see my life after May 2015. i knew it that i was either going to physically die or such a major shift was going to come that i couldn’t see my life at all after May 2015. i had bouts of crying for no rhyme or reason and frequent energy crashes. i thought that this was some kind of depression i was going through but didn’t want to go to a doctor at all, like something within was holding me back and telling me to embrace what was happening and that this was a temporary phase, a preparation for something bigger to emerge. When i lay in bed, i had no awareness of my body and time but chitt and mann were overtly active where i was visiting aspects of me and parts of my life and witnessed them being released. When i surfaced, hours had gone by but i didn’t feel rested. Can’t adequately describe the experience to be quite frank, but i eagerly awaited the May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat, the formal launch of the FiT Programme🙇
2014 was an eventful year with a lot of online FiT training calls, training videos, Kosmic Tribe get togethers, meet up meditations, Kosmic clinics etc. There was a 9 days online Akashic Records Master Readers Workshop in July 2014 and i was most impressed with Sree Maa Shri Ji’s commitment levels. Sree Maa Shri Ji lead by example. This was also the year where we wrote letters to self-reflect and introspect. i wrote my first SELF to self letter in Aug 2014. Till date i like to refer to my self-reflection letters written from SELF to self and self to SELF and use them as a measure to gauge how i have grown and how to tackle my small self when it acts like a stubborn child that does not want to budge.
To help all FiTs to bond, Sree Maa Shri Ji organized a personal communal session in Dec 2014. i had a strong reaction against it and disrupted the entire session mid-way. Sree Maa never till date once reprimanded or commented how i disrupted Sree Maa’s session with the entire group and has displayed to me by example that non-doer has zero expectations, an example of nishkaam karma that i realized much later.
Open reflection was encouraged very highly by Sree Maa to help break ice and to view, witness and move out of the ego patterns in the latter part of 2014. Even though Sree Maa had said it openly that the ego was everyone’s own responsibility, as the phase 1 was reaching an end, Sree Maa out of compassion and love and in preparation for the formal launch of the FiT Programme helped FiTs to look at their grey shades. One such reflection question and answer session on the ‘FiT’ whats app group chat is as follows:
The mentoring style was novel and done on what’s app as all FiTs were in different time zones. The reflection questions posed by Sree Maa were aimed at breaking the ego out of it’s comfort zone and the Absolute Truth shared were unparalleled. Sree Maa always kept a very honest and truthful approach and the feedback given was always based on Absolute Truth that Sree Maa shared through out the programme. Well! Kosmic Fusion was the School of Absolute Truth, so how could this ingredient be missing😉
Phase 1 was coming to an end. The doer stepped in every now and then but stepping-back was becoming easier with constant practice and awareness and mainly by tuning-in to QVSWPP which could be done anytime anywhere. Consistently operating as the non-doer was still work in progress and the reflection and self introspection were key elements in staying in the non-doer zone🙏🙇
Early 2014, Sree Maa introduced the concept of self/Self/SELF and introduced the greeting ‘Om Sai Brahman’ that all FiTs used with one another. It became increasingly evident that it was the small self, my own ego that was my biggest road block in realizing the Self and that the FiT trial was a practical training ground about becoming aware of these shades and moving past them with the help of QVSWPP, my 24 by 7 companion graciously gifted by Sree Maa Shri Ji. i was very aware that Sree Maa had taken a big risk as conflicts and discordancy between FiTs had already emerged due to reacting egos in 2013 itself. Remember reading an email where Sree Maa had clearly spelt out that each one’s raging ego is everyone’s individual responsibility.
Sree Maa was most gracious to allow all FiTs to sit for the 2 days online 5D++ AwaKeNiN TrAnsForMaTiON (0 to 7) workshops to observe and learn and get accustomed to the online software that was used but all FiTs had to log out for the 0 session and then log back again. It was crystal clear from the start that no-one could and would be trained for removing the dense obsolete 3D/4D grids. It was only Sree Maa Shri Ji who would be doing that.
It is one such online 5D++ AwaKeNiN TrAnsForMaTiON (0 to 7) workshop in Oct 2014 where my mum and dad, and my brother chose to their process and i felt elated that everyone in my small little family had been gifted with this most precious gift by Sree Maa Shri Ji. That was the day i felt the undertones of energetic discordancy in my family smoothen out in the times to follow. i also felt that whatever my family had done for me, i had completed my responsibility towards them by being the saadhan (medium) to introduce them to Kosmic Fusion and Sree Maa Shri Ji. i experienced an enormous inner relief that QVSWPP would now take care of them just like IT was constantly taking care of me since 2012. The inner worry that i had that ‘i was sitting so far from them and if anything untoward was to happen, i wouldn’t be there’ dissipated fully. Wherever life took each of us from now on is best for our atma. QVSWPP, the All-Knowing and most benevolent Signature would take care of them exactly how IT was taking care of me. Atyant AbhAr Sree Maa Shri Ji for bringing such supreme Grace to everyone in my family_/\_
This was also the workshop after which my interactions with Valarie Rosemary Fernandes/Virali (http://infinitelyblessedandgrateful.blogspot.com) increased as she came to attend this workshop from my place. Archita, i and Virali were awesome threesome in Dubai 🙂
i was very fortunate to travel to New Zealand every now and then. On one such occasion in Feb 2014, i was most fortunate to attend a Kosmic Tribe get-together in Auckland and meet 5D++ Pulsars in New Zealand. i first met Ritu Bhargava/Nandini (https://transformationofnarcissist.blogspot.com/), Orja, Renee Ryder/Renu, Devi and many more for the first time here. i was more focussed on Sree Maa though. Once again i witnessed how Dallia interjected Sree Maa with unnecessary questions. Nonetheless, the discourse was instrumental in me wanting to be with Sree Maa and understand more. This was the first time Sree Maa revealed that there was no difference between Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse and Sree Maa Shri Ji, IT is their Original consciousness.
Sree Maa was an exceptional mentor and i couldn’t believe my good fortune that i had managed to attract Sree Maa Shri Ji in my life. It felt that all the effort i had put on my spiritual path, Sree Maa Shri Ji was the fruition of it🙏🙇